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As the blanket of silence falls across the United Kingdom on Armistice Day we are reminded of the power of silence, as we reflect and remember those that have served in or been impacted by conflicts and wars.
Silence can be a powerful tool to resolve disputes and facilitate mediation.
By remaining silent and simply listening to someone it can make that person feel heard. It reassures them that someone is listening, and they have been provided with the opportunity to express themselves. This can help to calm the situation and provide the person with the opportunity to process how they are feeling so that they are able to listen and start to engage.
In the context of veterinary complaints, both animal owners and veterinary professionals feel a strong, emotional connection to the animals in their care. So often an animal represents more than a pet, it is symbolic of something else or connected to other significant family relationships.
As humans, our reactions to a situation can include links or triggers from the past, and this can make a situation harder to navigate or to articulate our point of view in a clear or constructive way. It may also ‘cloud’ how the other person in the situation may view or understand our position. To different extents, these are ‘trauma responses’ and can be triggered by many things; it could be a word, smell, event, or action. These can be deep rooted and sub-conscious and therefore not everyone knows what or why they are reacting in the way they do. Providing space through silence can give those involved the time to express themselves and also the time to hear and truly understand the other person’s perspective. A useful reminder for us all is to listen to understand, not to reply. To do this we often need to embrace the silence.
Silence can also punctuate what is said. Sometimes a pause at the beginning or the end of a sentence can help to provide thinking time and an opportunity for everyone to breathe. This slows down the pace of the conversation and facilitates reflection whilst calming down the situation.
Sometimes when confronted with a conflict situation, the fewer words the better. Reflecting back on the wise words of those who came before us, I am reminded of my Grandmother’s advice – ‘we have 2 ears and 1 mouth, and it is sensible to use them in those proportions’. Next time we face a conflict or am emotive conversation, we can remind ourselves of the benefits of standing back and listening, punctuating what we say with silence, providing everyone with an opportunity to process think, pause and reflect.
