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The famous quote, “Grief is the price to pay for love” may be a comfort to many who have lost not only pets but colleagues, family members and friends. When a valued member of your family, a friend, colleague or any pet passes it can have a devastating effect on you and those close to you. In today’s article, we explore how to deal with grief and share some resources that may help during such a difficult time.
Feelings of grief and sadness during a bereavement or loss can sometimes feel overwhelming. Grief is a powerful process and coming to terms with the death of a beloved person or animal can be extremely difficult, and everyone will experience the loss differently.
What are the 5 stages of grief?
Everyone experiences grief at some point in their life, it is part of being a human. The classic Kubler-Ross model of bereavement states that people go through ‘stages’ of bereavement where the experience of that loss goes from:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
Your bereavement journey
It is important to remember that your bereavement journey is unique, and that there is no ‘normal’ way of doing it. There is no standard length of time that it will take until the feelings start to subside. For some it may be weeks or months, for others it may take years.
It is important to give yourself time to grieve and allow your journey to take place gradually at your own pace. Try not to ‘bottle up’ your emotions, if you really feel that you can’t talk to someone about the loss of your pet then perhaps you could write it all down in a journal.
It is important not to ignore these feelings, you are not weak and there is no need to be ashamed, you have lost a member of your family and you will need to grieve.
Not everyone understands
Not everyone will understand your loss, people can have some very strange ways of dealing with death, some people will simply not like to talk about death, others may feel that a loss of a pet (in particular) is somehow less important than losing a person, especially if they have never had a pet of their own.
You may need to find people outside of your usual circle to talk to who do understand the love and companionship that having a pet brings, those who realise the enormity of your loss and can help you to talk about your grief.
If you can’t find people to talk to you might want to consider getting professional bereavement counselling, a trained counsellor can help you through your bereavement journey and will be able to refer you to a medical professional if you need help for depression.
Tips for dealing with grief and sorrow
Sorrow and grief are completely normal responses to a death of a pet or person close to you but they can be very painful. As well as talking to others and or professionals there are things you can do which might help make your bereavement journey a little easier to cope with:
Funerals or scattering ceremonies allow us to openly express our grief, they may not automatically happen for pets but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have one or need one. Take the time to write some words to say, or a poem to read and invite your friends or family or others who understand the importance of what your pet meant to you, and spend some time thinking and feeling about the presence that the person or pet had in your life.
You may want to plant a tree or create a special photo album or scrapbook with your memories so that you can remember all the fun times you had together. There are lots of really lovely ways that you can memorialise the loss.
Taking care of yourself during a bereavement
Remember to look after yourself, bereavement can really take it’s toll on both your energy and your emotions. It’s important to make sure you are eating sensibly and exercising regularly.
Here are some useful websites and support lines that might help you to deal with the loss of a pet or person:
